"Yehan itna sannata kyun hai bhai!"

"Hamara naam Soorma Bhopali aisai hi nayi pada hai..."

"payse keyse payse???????"

"Aur kya .. kha 2 rupiye mein kya pura jungle khaaridne nikle the.."

"woh lambu laga bhagne...
Main bhi ishtick rakhta hoon.. 
fir maine jo ishtick fenfenaayee"

"Tum logon ke paas kuch kaam-vaam to hey nahin...bus khali yahan bethey rehtey ho aur dus jhooth humse bulwatey ho...Are chalo miya..jabran jut-te rehte ho"

"Phir kya tha... Maine pakdey dono ke girebaan aur bola.........Bola ...... Aur koi khidmat ho mere layak to batao mere ko!!!"

"Hum Angrezo ke zamane ke jailer hai..
Aadhe idhar jao.. Aadhe udhar jao.. 
Aur baaki ke mere peeche...Ahaah.."

"Yu ke, yeh kaun bola ?"

"Dekh lena gaanw-waalo, when i death pulice coming. pulice coming,budhiyaa going jail. In jail ,budhiyaa chakki pising and pising and pising and PISING........."

"Kitni pyari baatein karti hai....
Pyari nahi bahut saari baatein karti hai...."

"Saala nautanki..ghadi ghadi drama karta hai..."

"Buraayi ne Bandook chalana sikha diya, Achchayi Hal chalana sikha degi.."

"Gaonwaalon!!!"

"Waise to mujhe bephijul baat karne ki aadat toh hai nahi, magar tumne puch hi rahe ho to hum bata hi dete hai, hamara naam basanti hai.
Pehli baar suna ye naam."

"Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti ???"

"Mujhe to sabhi police walo ki shakalein ek jaisi lagti hai."

"Surang...woh bhi hamari Jail mein. Yaani ki bagawat. khoon ki nadiyaa! Sipahiyon!"

"Hamare jaasoos jail ke kone kone tak fele huyen hai..."

"Hume pata hai aaj kal humari baatein pasand nahi kari jati..is liye har jagah se humara tabadla ho jata hai...per itne tabadlon ke baad bhi hum nahi badle...haha"

"Pistaul jail mein aa chuka hai?"

"Veeru: Jai... main ek baat soch raha tha... 
Jai: Haan, kabhi kabhi ye kaam bhi kar lena chahiye..."

"Maine toh apni aankh kabhi ki band kar li."

"Kya karu mausi, mera to dil hi kuch aisa hai!"

"Gaanv ke chaar chakkar lagake, station tak chhod ke aayegi basanti."

"yeh haath mujhe dede thakur..nahi
yeh haath mujhe dede thakur..nahi
yehhhh haaaath mujhe dede thakurrr...nnnnaaaaiiiiiiiiiii"

"Holi kab hai..kab hai Holi????"

"Kaafi bada ghar hai....Achchaa hai....Kaun Kaun rehta hai yahan...."

"Thakur Saab, Mujhe Yeh to nahi pata ki aapka kya kaam hai lekin yah zaroor pata hai ki yeh dono kisi kaam ke nahi hai."

"Dharmendra:agar mauka mila to 10-12 pe to bhari padengey...kyun partner mainey zyada to nahin bol diya
Amitabh:Ab Jab bol hi diya hai to dekh lengey"
 
 
 
"Mausi : Arre beta, bas itna samaz lo ke ghar me jawaan beti seene par pathhar ke sil ki tarah hoti hai. Basanti ka byaah ho jaaye to chain ki saans loo.
Jay : haa sach kaha mausi aapne. bada bojh hai aap par.
Mausi : Lekin beta, is bojh ko koi kunwe me to phaik nahi deta.Bura nah maananaa , itanaa to poochhanaa hi padataa hai ke ladkekaa khaandaan kyaa hai uske lachhchhan kaise hai, kamaataa kitnaa hai?
Jay : Kamaane ka to ye hai mausi,..,ke ek baar biwi bachhon ki jimmedaari sar pe aa gayi to .. kamaane bhi lagegaa.
Mausi : To kya abhi kuchh bhi nahi kamaataa?
Jay : Nahi nahi ye maine kba kahaa mausi, kamaataa hai lekin,... ab roj roj to aadmi jeet nahi sakataa na. .. kabhi haar bhi jaataa hai bechaaraa?
Mausi : haar jaata hai?
Jay : haan mausi ab ye kambakht juwaa cheej hi aisi hai ab mai kyaa kahoon ?
Mausi : heynnnn. to kya juwaari hai?
Jay : chhi chhi chhi chhi mausi, woh aur juwaari na na. woh to bahot hi achchha aur nek ladka hai.Lekin mausi, ek baar sharaab pi li na phir,achchhe bure ka kahaa hosh rahataa hai. Haath pakad ke bitha liyaa kisi ne juwaa khelane. ab isme bechare Veeru ka kya dosh?
Mausi : Thik kahate ho beta. juwaari woh sharaabi woh lekin, uska koi dosh nahi.
Jay : Mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samaz rahi hai. woh to itanaa seedha aur bhola hai. aare basanti se uski shaadi karke to dekhiye, ye juwe aur sharaab ki aadat to do din me chhoot jaayegi.
Mausi : Arre beta, mujh budhiyaa ko samaza rahe ho. ye sharaab aur juwe ki aadat kisi ki chhooti hai aaj tak.
Jay : Mausi aap Veeru ko nahi jaanati , wishwaas kijiye wo is tarah kaa insaan nahi hai. Ek baar shaadi ho gayi to woh us gaane-waali ke ghar jaanaa band kar degaa. bas, sharaab apne aap chhoot jaayegi.
Mausi : Hi hi, bas yehi ek kami raha gayi thi. to kya kisi gaanewaali ke ghar bhi aanaa jaanaa hai?  
Jay : To isme kaunsi buri baat hai mausi. arre , gaana soonane to raajaa-mahaaraajaa unche unche khaandaan ke log jaate hai, haan.
Mausi : Achchha ! to beta ye bhi bataate jaao ki tumhare yeh gunwaan dost kis khaandaan ke hai?
Jay : Bas mausi, khaandaan ka pataa chalate hi ham aap ko khabar de denge.
Mausi : Ek baat ki daad doongi beta. bhale sau buraaEyaa hai tumhare dost me ,phir bhi tumhare munh se us ke liye taareefe hi nikalti hai.
Jay : ab Kya karoo mausi.. mera to dil hi kuchh aisa hai.(pause)... To.. mai ye rishtaa pakkaa samazoo?
Mausi : Pakkaa? . bhale saari jindagi ladaki kuwaari baithi rahe. lekin mai aise aadami se Basanti ko nahi byaahanewaali. Sagi mausi hoon. koi sautelee maa nahi.
Jay : Ajeeb baat hai. mere itane samazaane par bhi aap ne inkaar kar diyaa.. Bechaaraa Veeru... naa jaane kya karega?  "